Title:Doctors [the annotated version]
Fandom Primarily Stargate Atlantis, with a small number of crossovers
Rating: PG, for a bad word or two. tsk.
Genres: Crossovers & Crack [Two great tastes...]
Summary: Atlantis gets new scientists.

Read This First: I wrote the original Doctors for the sga_flashfic community. Nobody seemed to get what I was doing, so I've made an annotated version that explains it. If you haven't, go read the original first. Then come back if you're still lost.

( Did you read the original fic first? )

Title: Five Uncles Torren Had on Atlantis
Genre: Futurefic. Gen, mostly, with a bit of Het. And Sappiness.
Rating: G
Spoilers: Only if you don't know who Torren is (All of S5?)
Notes: This bit me while driving. I had to pull over and start writing. Gah! Also, unbetaed because I haven't found a new beta yet. *sigh*
Summary: Torren grows up with lots of Uncles teaching him about life.

( Read more... )

Written for: tielan for fandom_stocking, a comm where folks were encouraged to create short things for holiday presents
Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, Firefly
Also: Gen. Rather cliched. But she'd said: "I tend to prefer the female characters of any show. Really specifically, my favourites are Teyla Emmagan of Atlantis, Sam Carter of SG1, Inara Serra from Firefly, [...]" and my brain immediately coughed this up.


( It could have been any bar in any city on Earth... )

No spoiler review of SGA's 2nd to last episode, Vegas: WTF. They had the chance to do something fresh and original, and instead it was cliche, overdone, rehash of existing crap. Shame on them.

Also, I wrote (and got fic!) for fandom_stocking; I'll link to what was made for me as well as reposting what I wrote (yes, I *wrote*, woot) shortly.


And now for a moment of sheep-ness:
( Icons Meme )

I've read twelve too many reviews of the latest Stargate: Atlantis episode, Quarantine, written by people who are die-hard McSheppers.

( Minor spoilers for Quarantine )

Gah. Please, someone shoot me before I get out the chainsaw.

When oxoniensis started gathering prompts for Porn Battle V I somehow got the impression that she was getting more than swamped, so I offered to help her out. After all, I'm unemployed with free time, insane, used to sorting prompts thanks to brain_asplode and, oh yes, insane.

I sorted all the crossovers, the RPF and the "Bandom" stuff. (And, yes, there are still mistakes in those areas, and I feel stupid everytime I see them. Bah.)

Now I must rant about "Bandom" -- my apologies if you are part of this, but for the most part, I would like these people to go out and chew ground glass. About halfway through, oxoniensis added to the prompts post reminding people that if their prompts weren't properly formatted they'd be tossed, and the Bandom people *still* put up stuff that was sometimes so malformed there was NO WAY of guessing what they were asking for. I must have thrown out at least a dozen prompts (mostly, but not all, from one person who Just Couldn't Get It), and it made me sad.


Outside of the stuff that was just unintelligble, there was the fun of trying to sort and remove and/or gather duplicates. I spent a good 2-3 hours with Wikipedia trying to figure things out, because often giving last names helped to sort out duplicates, especially in the Bandom Crossovers (insert major groan here). But when you see
Bandom, Band-name, Joe/Bob, whatever
and Wikipedia says there is NOBODY NAMED BOB in that band...
or even more fun
Bandom, Band-name, Joe/Joseph, whatever
and Wikipedia helpfully points out that there used to be a Joe in the band, who left a year ago, but that there are currently now *two* Josephs in the band...

Yes, you write Bandom? Here's your ground glass.



Anyway, as a thank you, oxoniensis sent me a gold star, which is in my profile, for the next 2 weeks the mail said :). Whee! I am so amused. Nobody's given me a gold star since I was in 5th grade, and that was... 35 years ago? Something like that ;).

And I actually wrote, too! I wrote
Pineapple (Ocean's 11, Danny/Rusty, oral fixation, pineapple), which is the second time I've written a prompt for Rusty from Ocean's 11 and oral fixation.

And then I wrote Just Desserts (Crossover: Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG-1, Rodney McKay/Cameron Mitchell, "revenge/dessert"), which is kind of a tag to the SG-1 S10 episode "The Pegasus Project", and which is still making me giggle. I make myself laugh too much.

I might write more. But for now - speaking of brain_asplode time to put the new pairings list up there! Laterz!

p.s. Go read the porn battle stories if you haven't. If you want to add a story, she's had to start a 2nd page 'cause everyone's writing! Be a joiner! And write something for brain_asplode too :-P.

update: and I also wrote Little Surprise (Crossover, Babylon 5/Stargate SG-1, Susan Ivanova/Ba'al, BOOM). Hee.

oxoniensis, she of the porn battles, is hosting a Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses comment-fic thingy until Sunday, 4/15 at about 4pm EST.

I'm trying to write for it but
a) not feeling very well (actually spent all day exhausted in bed after spending all yesterday in can't-walk pain)

b) most of the prompts just aren't doing it for me (maybe I'll be stupid and write my own prompts. They're all *weird*).

c) the "r" key on my keyboard is starting to fail.


Among the prompts I submitted:

Battlestar Galactica, Kara Thrace & Karl Agathon, winning and losing

Firefly, Mal & Wash, all work and no play
Firefly, Jayne/River, hiding in the shadows

Stargate Atlantis, Caldwell & Hermiod, bombs
Stargate Atlantis, Sheppard & Kavanagh, hair

Stargate SG-1, Vala & Siler, bandage

War of the Worlds (tv), Suzanne McCullough/Paul Ironhorse / Harrison Blackwood, dare

Crossover, Babylon 5 / Firefly, Susan Ivanova/Malcolm Reynolds, water

Crossover, Star Trek: DS9 / Stargate SG-1, Miles O'Brien & Sgt Siler, tools

Crossover, Stargate SG-1 / Stargate Atlantis, Ba'al / Lorne, snark

[& the winner of the "I will probably have to write it anyway":]
Crossover, Buckaroo Banzai / War of the Worlds (tv), Buckaroo Banzai & Harrison Blackwood, anger

because if you know BB & have seen the WotW series, it'd make sense

[So far (that I've seen) only one of my prompt has been used, purple_cube wrote from SGA, Teyla/Lorne, cards.]

This is technically a "spoiler image" from an upcoming episode (for those of you who have been 'waiting for broadcast')

BUT!!!

It is JUST Sheppard, and a gun, and nobody else to give anythign away, so I encourage you to look anyway.

THE FACE!!!

(really, it's just the image. no links to anything else about the episode, or any other spoilers. i swear it on my own grave.)

triple7lies and Josh and I all agree that calls for a caption having to do with constipation. My first thought, seeing it, was, "I NEED TO POO."

Title: Six SGA Snippets I Will Never Expand
(Where SGA Stands For: Slashy[ish] Genderfucked AUs)
Rating: R
Category: Humourish Crack!Fic
A/N I saw the Genderfuck Grab Bag post and then crack ate my brain. Five prompts twisted six ways. Posted also to that comm.

( Lose Your Mind Here )

Prompt: "Lorne/Male: Lorne is struggling with the transition from Earth's strict 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy to the freer Atlantean establishment. Particularly when he falls almost immediately in love with someone there."

Stupidest Thing on the slashfest comm. Lorne/Sheppard (sorta), McKay/Zelenka.

The "surprise threesome" all male slashy mess I wrote for the KinkoftheMonth valentines' stalkerfest whateverthefudgeitwas. Guest..

Title: In Sickness And
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Gen. Crossover with "The Stand"
Warnings: AU from Return Pt. 1. Death (OCs). Violence. Bad words.
Word Count: 2640
Disclaimer: <#include "std-disclaimer.h">
A/N: Another side to
Captain Trips Is Not The Name Of An Air Force Officer but can be read independently.
There is at least one more fic to come out of this.
Summary: "The world has gone all to hell and Rodney McKay is my savior. Just how weird is that?"

( She wasn't a biologist but she heard the whispers about Project Blue )

Title: Captain Trips Is Not The Name Of An Air Force Officer
Rating: PG
Genre: Gen. Crossover with SG1 & The Stand.
Warnings: AU from Return Pt. 1. Character deaths.
Word count: About 1900ish
Disclaimer: <#include "std-disclaimer.h">
A/N: Originally posted in/for the sga_flashfic "Sickness" challenge. Some things corrected here after digging through the book some more.
For cesperanza, who loves The Stand more than I do. This may not make complete sense if you haven't read the book or seen the mini-series, but I've tried.
The main thing you need to know: The plague is started by an experiment gone wrong, and it's over 99% fatal. Nobody knows why some people are immune.
Summary: This was it, what was left of the SGC.

( Lorne's team had been off-world when the plague started. )

originally written for purple_cube as comment fic. Why are all my het stuffs so sappy? Bah. I should just stick to slash :-).

( insulin... i need insulin... )

As you might guess from the title, this was the last one I did for the Porn Battle.

This time some SGA/SG1 slasy porn with a little kinkiness.

(I think I really like writing these two, they amuse the crap outta me.)

( Last Licks )

More porn battle. Simply SGA Slash Smut. It's fairly unoriginal but it amused me to do it anyway.

Again, slightly different from the original.

( Unoriginal Plot Points )

Added to and improved over the first thing I posted to the Porn Battle.

( SG1/SGA Cam Mitchell / John Sheppard (prompt: fistfight) )

( really, i've gone totally insane here )

Dude. I think I need sleep.

This is actually one of the prompts I offered up to the Porn Battle. It bit me somewhere and I had to make sure it sees the light of day.

Of course my babblings are too long for the limit of the Porn Battle, so just the porny stuff will be posted there.

( Rain )

OK, this may be worse than writing ass-labor.

Slice from X-Files/Stargate-Atlantis Crossover Crack!Fic from Hell.

I blame two people, pentapus, who had a "Write a drabble and I'll draw a doodle" fest. I wrote this little bit (briefly: Scully & Mulder go to Atlantis to talk to them about Space Vampires). pentapus drew this beautiful but cracky picture.

Then for the Porn Battle someone (*cough* havocthecat *cough*) requested "Mulder/Hermiod." She said she's going to hell for wanting it.

I'm IN hell for WRITING it!

Anyway. The beginning got cut off for the Porn Battle (4300 character limit), so here's the whole thing.

One day I'll fit it all together.

( Click Here - Cost: One Mind )

For rosewildeirish, consider this your (belated) Christmas present. I couldn't seem to pull off a full fic, I hope this is ok :-).

No spoilers, just shmoopy fluffernutters.

( Five Reasons Why Rodney Is So Madly In Love With Radek )

Title: No Lighter Burden, Nor More Agreeable
Pairing: Lorne/Mitchell, Lorne/Sheppard
Rating: Adult. NC-17. Not for the kiddies.
Wordcount: ~6500
Warnings: Spoilers for (and refers to) SG-1 10x03 (Pegasus Project)
Summary: Requested: When SG-1 comes to Atlantis, it brings an old relationship back into Lorne's life.
Disclaimer: <#include std-disclaimer.h>
A/N
o Fanon assumptions stolen:
- Lorne is a luddite who prefers paper & pen over computers
- Sheppard is always dumping paperwork on Lorne.
o Handholding, ideas, and beta from the fantabulous triple7lies
- Bonus points for handholding & ideas from lilyayl & Josh

Written for slashfest IV. So there's slash in here. Adult slash.

( No Lighter Burden, Nor More Agreeable )

People keep mixing up three of the main people behind the Stargate shows and it's driving me (further) insane.

Warning: A few graphics (3-4) and some links within.

( Peter, Martin and Martin: Don't Mix Them Up )

Links to this are posted to sg1 and atlantis.

1) This one hit me at 3 am, like all "good" thoughts -- "Evan" is John. It's the Welsh form of John.

So the CO of Atlantis is John, and his XO is... John.

I am amused.


2) I've heard rumours of a late S3 episode called "Sunday," which is supposed to be a "slice-of-life" episode where people are told to take a day off from work.

My 3 am thought for this was, "How Christian-centric, that *Sunday* would be the day off. I wonder what miss_porcupine's Yoni would have to say about that!"

Probably a lot. :-)

Title: What's That, Lassie?
Summary: 577 Words Of Pure Crack
Pairing: Sheppard/Lorne -- Sorta.
Rating: G. No smut. Only the Pure Twoo Wuv.
A/N: Grew in my brain after seeing this icon (which belongs to and was made for the fantabulous miss_porcupine from her fantastical The Care and Feeding of a CO. I hope she can someday forgive me.

( Ronon looked pissed off. )

I wanted to do something for the sga_flashfic "Song & Dance" challenge. Something to do with Drama Queens seemed likely.

Sorry, lilyayl. The theory of a version with songs and lyrics just won't come to pass. There's a *reason* I don't do this stuff anymore...

However, I may take this piece, fold it into the original, and add some more stuff on. At some point.

Hell Week.

amireal has up a challenge she calls "I have to laugh at this premise or I will have to open a vein challenge, Open Vein Challenge for short" -- it's a bad!fic challenge full of scary prompts like diapers and pacifiers, and bestiality, and mpreg with lactation, and other horrific things.

One of the prompts made my brain explode -- into bad!fic.

I wrote John/Rodney (which I DO NOT DO) mpreg (WHICH I DO NOT DO) with ASS LABOR.

I WROTE ASS LABOR.

Please Just Kill Me Now.


One day one of my RL friends will find me out and I'll be taunted for writing ASS LABOR for the rest of my life.

Seriously. I'm half proud I could pop this out -- pun intended -- and half horrified and ashamed.

- Untitled Drabble for pentapus's Doodle Drabble Meme 2.
- Beta by triple7lies (thank you!), any remaining mistakes all mine.
- Created because pentapus wrote, in her list of non-prompt
prompts, "And how could I forget Scully?" How could you, indeed. :-)

-----------
( read me )

... and, I do want to flesh this out to a full fic. I have some thoughts on where to take it.

Is it bad that I'm thinking, after it becomes official [I wanna hear it with my own 1.3 ears before I believe it :-)] that I then want to go back and "correct" my fics to have the "right" name?

I want to whitewash my own work?!? Who am I, Lucas?

:-)

Title: Drama Queens
Pairings: Rodney/Radek, Teyla/Kate,
Beta, Help, Hand Holding, & Sharing of War Stories: triple7lies, thanks again. Any remaining mistakes are mine.
Summary: For the summercon Blame Someone Else challenge.

lilyayl requested: In order to foster good trading relations, the Lanteans find themselves thrust into writing a play (which must have signficance) and performing it. Rodney and Teyla bicker over music. John is happy to be tone-deaf. Rodney/Radek, Teyla/Kate, no McShep.


( Major Evan Lorne knew that Atlantis was full of drama queens, but this was ridiculous. )

And lilyayl, thanks for helping me remember why I don't do theater anymore!!!

---
ETA: Retconned Lorne's first name to fit with canon.

Title: Wear Your Own Hat, If It You Can Make It Fit!
Author: infinimato
Word Count: 865
Pairing: OT4ish
Rating: Adults in theory; in practice: insane people only
A/N: Thanks to svmadelyn, whose summercon is causing so much fun.
This is fic 2 out of 3 I've done for it. And thanks to wearmyhat, whose Bad Manip (shown below) caused my brain to remember a Very Old Bad Joke, and thus caused this cracky fic.

( This isn't just Not Safe For Work, it's Not Safe For Anyone! )

i got home earlier than expected, so ( ok, i've seen them now (spoilers within) )

This post assumes you have read the story Other Side. If you haven't read it, you will be surprised, because all that's here is the alternate ending to that story.

( Original Ending - and a bit of angst about it - Found Here )

Title: Other Side
Author: infinimato
Rating: PG13?
Pairing: Teyla/? (Het)
Summary: He had a hidden grace she should have noticed before.
Notes: AU. Set early S2. Death mention. Not a happy fic.
Beta & angsty hand-holding by triple7lies
Previously posted with a different ending; comment about that at the end.

( She was surprised when he came to her, asking for private lessons for her stick fighting. )

For penatapus's Doodle Drabble Meme.

Based on Doodle #3, which caused something weird to grow in my brain. Sorry, I changed your sign :-).
380 words. Simple sillyness.


"Come on, guys, get me out of this already!" Sheppard was appalled at how whiny his voice was sounding. He'd been tied to the tree for almost two hours now, and his team had spent the better part of the last twenty minutes giggling at his situation.

"And you got stuck there just how, again, Colonel Kirk?" Rodney said with an air of smugness that just might get him another smack upside the head... if Sheppard ever got loose.

"I told you twice now, McKay! Now get me out of this!" Rodney was grinning like a baboon, Ronon kept giggling like a schoolgirl (RONON! GIGGLING!) and Teyla couldn't hide her laughter either.

The gorgeous woman who'd enticed him away from the others was, of course, long gone. The feel of her kisses were still warm on his lips, but anger made the rest of his head boil. He couldn't believe he didn't see it coming. Again.

Rodney was starting to poke at the stuff holding him to the tree. "What IS this stuff, it's so sticky?!"

"She didn't tell me, Rodney, she just kinda ... stuck and run."

"Well, that's what you get for thinking with parts of you other than your brain."

This statement started Teyla and Ronon on a new round of giggles. Sheppard was SO going to kill them. All.

"HA, HA, Rodney. Get me OUT!"

"Yeah, yeah. You two," he said to The Mad Gigglers, "give me a hand here."

As they came to McKay's aid, Sheppard saw Teyla grab something from the side of the tree and try to subtly hide it behind her. "What is that?" Sheppard demanded, "Are those my pants? Did you find my pants??"

"Uh, no, Colonel. It's... Um. She left a sign here."

"What's it say?"

Teyla was struggling not to start giggling again, but her admission that the sign said, "Free To Good Home" got her going again, and the other two stopped ripping at his bonds to join her.

AUUUGH. He was going to KILL.

"Ok, Sheppard, you're free," said Ronon, nearly hiccupping from his giggles.

"Great. Now let's go home already."

"And next time we go on a mission, maybe you should wear something a little plainer than Spiderman boxers, huh?"

"Shut up, Rodney, they're my lucky boxers!"

"Not anymore, Spidey."

Will someone PLEASE get TPTB to stop combing Carson's hair so he looks like a Scottish Troll Doll?!?!?!?

Cripes. The guy has the most gorgeous eyes and I can barely stand to look at him with that HAIR.

HAIR!!!!!!

The problem with having two LJs is that I get behind on one friend's list, then I get behind on the other, and back and forth.....

There just isn't enough time in the world for all I need to do.

OK, that's a lie. There's plenty of time, I just spend too much of it sleeping :/.

Anyway. Brief comments on Friday's episodes:

200: I watched it with some friends (usually I download via torrents) via Tivo. It took us nearly 90 minutes to watch 200 because we had to keep stopping. We laughed ourselves purple.

Real World: I don't like Weir much, so that didn't help. But even with that I thought the story was weak and cheesy and probably the worst thing they've ever done. The "Spock's Brain" of SGA, as it were :).

The special: I can't wait to get my hands on it. SO MUCH MARTIN WOOD.

I will not drool on my keyboard.
I will not drool on my keyboard.
I will notiueaksla akeyebordksaj.

Crap.

apparently from the "jeremiah" set

with a fan at a gatecon

gatecon 2003

3 interviews, lots of pictures including ones of him and Peter Deluise.

from a european con

Cunningham, Higginson, Wood, Deluise

Wood & Deluise

filming Grace Under Pressure

My own screencaps from the 200th SG1 Episode special.

With Steve Bacic (Camalus) - quote from the page that links to it, "Could you act a little more manly and sexy, Steve?"

A list (with caps) of all of his cameos in episodes. (The Wormhole X-Treme "Man in Black" bit is especially nice. Oh, the man cleans up so well.

Cripes, maybe there's hope for me yet.

Super Friends.

(here so I can keep track of my own posted fic.)

( I wanted to make comments before I read other people's comments... )


Now to read what others think. Other people always pick up on stuff I missed, and then I "have to" go watch the episode again. Such tragedy.