From comment_fic, Decaf for the April Fool's Day prompt: Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, Switching coffee for decaf. [Fairly PG, though]

From synecdochic's Inaugural Dreamwidth Comment Porn Meme, Peanuts, for the prompt: Ocean's 11, Rusty/Linus, peanuts. [Also not very porny, but more R-rated.]

Judge's comment: Infinimato hits the nail of comedy on the head with this one. And her characterization of Hammer felt dead on.

Not too shabby for something written off the cuff, in a moment of sheer insanity, and in a fandom I've never written in ever again. (yet?)

I have at least one offer to beta my fic if I sign up for the AU fest. I discussed my idea with the comm moderators (as it entails mixing prompts) and they gave me permission.... to use my own prompt.

>head hits desk<

(with a mix-in of something of tielan's)

IN HORRIFIC NEWS:

I was flipping through a comment_fic prompts post and somehow got bit by:

Firefly RPS, Nathan Fillion/Adam Baldwin/Sean Maher, just another of Joss' parties

While occasionally RPF amuses the hell out of me (and I won't deny having written it before), it usually squicks me. However this bit me in a demented way. of course. And then a 4th person wandered into the mix...

( cut for those squicked by RPF, though it's very very short )

Title:Doctors [the annotated version]
Fandom Primarily Stargate Atlantis, with a small number of crossovers
Rating: PG, for a bad word or two. tsk.
Genres: Crossovers & Crack [Two great tastes...]
Summary: Atlantis gets new scientists.

Read This First: I wrote the original Doctors for the sga_flashfic community. Nobody seemed to get what I was doing, so I've made an annotated version that explains it. If you haven't, go read the original first. Then come back if you're still lost.

( Did you read the original fic first? )

Title: Five Uncles Torren Had on Atlantis
Genre: Futurefic. Gen, mostly, with a bit of Het. And Sappiness.
Rating: G
Spoilers: Only if you don't know who Torren is (All of S5?)
Notes: This bit me while driving. I had to pull over and start writing. Gah! Also, unbetaed because I haven't found a new beta yet. *sigh*
Summary: Torren grows up with lots of Uncles teaching him about life.

( Read more... )

Written for: tielan for fandom_stocking, a comm where folks were encouraged to create short things for holiday presents
Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, Firefly
Also: Gen. Rather cliched. But she'd said: "I tend to prefer the female characters of any show. Really specifically, my favourites are Teyla Emmagan of Atlantis, Sam Carter of SG1, Inara Serra from Firefly, [...]" and my brain immediately coughed this up.


( It could have been any bar in any city on Earth... )

Written for mareel for fandom_stocking a comm where folks were encouraged to create short things for holiday presents
Fandoms: Star Trek: Deep Space 9 / another SF show that I might have been too subtle about :-)
Also: Gen, and I haven't seen DS9 in so long I was afraid this wasn't going to work at all

-----
"I'm not so sure we should be trusting them. We have no way to corroborate their story."

"You don't trust anyone," Kira reminded him, a smile hiding in her eyes. "Captain Sisko feels they're being honest. And, really, do you think that rustbucket of a ship could do us any damage?"

Odo grunted. "You're probably right. Unless it explodes and takes out the upper pylon docking bays."

"Always so full of cheer and good humour." She couldn't help reaching out and giving his hand a squeeze. Maybe I should go see how they're getting along with their repairs. Chief O'Brien seems to be torn between wanting to overhaul their engine and trying to figure out how to replicate the weird parts their engineer keeps insisting she needs."

"All right. By the way, Nerys, are we still on for dinner later?"

The smile she gave him lit up the room. "I wouldn't miss it."


On her way to the pylon where the strangers had docked their ship, she stopped to get a raktajino, thinking she would need the jolt to deal with this mess. She spotted Julian in deep conversation with the doctor from the new ship. Weird one, him. He was as cultured as their own doctor, at least, but was living in the rough among even rougher people.

She wasn't as trusting as Captain Sisko, but neither was she as untrusting as Odo. She thought she had a good feel for people, and the new ship's Captain had her going both ways. On the one hand, she'd been in Sisko's office when the two Captains were talking, as was his second in command, a woman at least as tough as herself. It was very clear they really were from somewhere, if not somewhen else. The new folk had been unaware of the Dominion war, but had made it clear that they were veterans of another war. They had summed it up as having been underdogs that had lost. Officially. Something about that made her grin. She knew all about being the
underdog.

On the other hand, they were clearly hiding something, and that thought made her nervous.


[this one I'd really like to flesh out more someday. I'll just put that in my mile-long todo file ... :)]

Written for: leyenn for fandom_stocking, a comm where folks were encouraged to create short things for holiday presents
Fandoms: Babylon 5 / Doctor Who
Summary: The Doctor, Jack & Martha run into Talia Winters. Totally gen.

( I hope this is the fifth one, or we're in for a bumpy ride! )

OK ok. This is the (first) post I made to the Porn Battle. I thought it was weird crack, but people liked it. So, wtf, I'm gonna post it here. And then I will curl up and die of shame, because I have so *hideously* abused an iconic, historic folk song from the USA, as well as written song-fic (which, to me, is just one shy step above writing a mary-sue).

( 250ish words of Captain Hammer solo porn within )

With huge apologies to Pete Seeger and Lee Hays, who are probably spinning in their graves at 3200 RPM. Oh my god, I'm going to HELL.



Horrifically: for the Fluff/Comedy, Short, and PWP categories.

When oxoniensis started gathering prompts for Porn Battle V I somehow got the impression that she was getting more than swamped, so I offered to help her out. After all, I'm unemployed with free time, insane, used to sorting prompts thanks to brain_asplode and, oh yes, insane.

I sorted all the crossovers, the RPF and the "Bandom" stuff. (And, yes, there are still mistakes in those areas, and I feel stupid everytime I see them. Bah.)

Now I must rant about "Bandom" -- my apologies if you are part of this, but for the most part, I would like these people to go out and chew ground glass. About halfway through, oxoniensis added to the prompts post reminding people that if their prompts weren't properly formatted they'd be tossed, and the Bandom people *still* put up stuff that was sometimes so malformed there was NO WAY of guessing what they were asking for. I must have thrown out at least a dozen prompts (mostly, but not all, from one person who Just Couldn't Get It), and it made me sad.


Outside of the stuff that was just unintelligble, there was the fun of trying to sort and remove and/or gather duplicates. I spent a good 2-3 hours with Wikipedia trying to figure things out, because often giving last names helped to sort out duplicates, especially in the Bandom Crossovers (insert major groan here). But when you see
Bandom, Band-name, Joe/Bob, whatever
and Wikipedia says there is NOBODY NAMED BOB in that band...
or even more fun
Bandom, Band-name, Joe/Joseph, whatever
and Wikipedia helpfully points out that there used to be a Joe in the band, who left a year ago, but that there are currently now *two* Josephs in the band...

Yes, you write Bandom? Here's your ground glass.



Anyway, as a thank you, oxoniensis sent me a gold star, which is in my profile, for the next 2 weeks the mail said :). Whee! I am so amused. Nobody's given me a gold star since I was in 5th grade, and that was... 35 years ago? Something like that ;).

And I actually wrote, too! I wrote
Pineapple (Ocean's 11, Danny/Rusty, oral fixation, pineapple), which is the second time I've written a prompt for Rusty from Ocean's 11 and oral fixation.

And then I wrote Just Desserts (Crossover: Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG-1, Rodney McKay/Cameron Mitchell, "revenge/dessert"), which is kind of a tag to the SG-1 S10 episode "The Pegasus Project", and which is still making me giggle. I make myself laugh too much.

I might write more. But for now - speaking of brain_asplode time to put the new pairings list up there! Laterz!

p.s. Go read the porn battle stories if you haven't. If you want to add a story, she's had to start a 2nd page 'cause everyone's writing! Be a joiner! And write something for brain_asplode too :-P.

update: and I also wrote Little Surprise (Crossover, Babylon 5/Stargate SG-1, Susan Ivanova/Ba'al, BOOM). Hee.

Title: Six SGA Snippets I Will Never Expand
(Where SGA Stands For: Slashy[ish] Genderfucked AUs)
Rating: R
Category: Humourish Crack!Fic
A/N I saw the Genderfuck Grab Bag post and then crack ate my brain. Five prompts twisted six ways. Posted also to that comm.

( Lose Your Mind Here )

Another bathrobe vignette: A short Firefly bit. Mal & River & Jayne in the robe. Red So Pretty.

Prompt: "Lorne/Male: Lorne is struggling with the transition from Earth's strict 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy to the freer Atlantean establishment. Particularly when he falls almost immediately in love with someone there."

Stupidest Thing on the slashfest comm. Lorne/Sheppard (sorta), McKay/Zelenka.

Hey, triple7lies, it's Jack/Ianto and the water from the fountain, just for you:

Ratty Old

Probably not what you wanted, but then, I suck.

:-P

The "surprise threesome" all male slashy mess I wrote for the KinkoftheMonth valentines' stalkerfest whateverthefudgeitwas. Guest..

Title: In Sickness And
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Gen. Crossover with "The Stand"
Warnings: AU from Return Pt. 1. Death (OCs). Violence. Bad words.
Word Count: 2640
Disclaimer: <#include "std-disclaimer.h">
A/N: Another side to
Captain Trips Is Not The Name Of An Air Force Officer but can be read independently.
There is at least one more fic to come out of this.
Summary: "The world has gone all to hell and Rodney McKay is my savior. Just how weird is that?"

( She wasn't a biologist but she heard the whispers about Project Blue )

Title: Captain Trips Is Not The Name Of An Air Force Officer
Rating: PG
Genre: Gen. Crossover with SG1 & The Stand.
Warnings: AU from Return Pt. 1. Character deaths.
Word count: About 1900ish
Disclaimer: <#include "std-disclaimer.h">
A/N: Originally posted in/for the sga_flashfic "Sickness" challenge. Some things corrected here after digging through the book some more.
For cesperanza, who loves The Stand more than I do. This may not make complete sense if you haven't read the book or seen the mini-series, but I've tried.
The main thing you need to know: The plague is started by an experiment gone wrong, and it's over 99% fatal. Nobody knows why some people are immune.
Summary: This was it, what was left of the SGC.

( Lorne's team had been off-world when the plague started. )

originally written for purple_cube as comment fic. Why are all my het stuffs so sappy? Bah. I should just stick to slash :-).

( insulin... i need insulin... )

Title: Collision Course
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica *cough*
Word count: 1000 on the nose
Rating: G. Squeaky clean.
Spoilers: Technically set near the end of S3. Wherever we are in the US broadcast land.
A/N:
- This has some "issues" but I'm too fond of the idea to let it stop me.
- I'll always have a fondness for the original series. There's a music vid on SciFi.com called A New Crew In Town which says it all. And it's frakkin hysterical.
- For the picfor1000 Challenge 5. Prompt picture here

Summary: "Get two Raptors in the air. I want a look at these 'Vipers'."

---

( Read more... )

---

.... because between my friend Josh and pentapus's drawings and shusu's crack smoking and havocthecat's prompt from the Porn Battle... this is a group effort whether people want it to be or not.

TO REVIEW:

First we had the little piece that I wrote about Mulder & Scully showing up on Atlantis, to talk about Vampires.

Then, 'cause it was for a thingy of hers, pentapus drew this bit of gorgeous taking the plot somewhere I hadn't thought of.

Then came the Porn Battle, for which I wound up smoking crack offered up by havocthecat, which called for Mulder & Hermiod getting it on.

I should be ashamed, but, to be honest, I just can't stop giggling.

Then that nutjob shusu posted something of McSheppy incest (really, just. jeez. owies.) and I jokingly asked if she were trying to "out-whacko-porn" me. I suggested that to "beat" this I'd have to write Hermiod having Mulder's ass babies.

To which she said:

ONLY if Hermiod files suit for CUSTODY. Because no way is Mulder a fit
father by any galactic standard. It will be a bitter battle, no-pants vs.
leaky waterbed, disdain for all humanity vs. eats cheetos in the nude.

AND THEN ABDUCTION.

I countered with:

And of course it's a baby girl, named Samantha after his sister, but then when Hermiod abducts the baby Mulder can't get anyone to believe that IT HAS HAPPENED AGAIN, they think he's still bugfuck from his sister's "abduction", and the SGC suddenly won't talk to him anymore, and Scully wonders if she should have him committed or go back to the Pegasus Galaxy and re-hookup with the Wraith queen (yeah i haven't written that part of the crack yet) and ...


To which shusu came back with, first, Wraith Queen dialogue:

"This one does not have kneepads. What is wrong with it? Is it defective?"
and then:

Meanwhile -- "He named it after you, Colonel. Don't you think that proves he's a creepy stalker?"

Which NO NO NO I am not also going for an SG1 xover too.

So then Josh comes up with:
If you make Scully wear a clown costume, you'll have ASS LABOR and CLOWN PORN in the same story. Just sayin'.

To which I realized:
And I could tie that in with Sheppard's fear of clowns

but then he countered:
Or maybe Novak can be in the big floopy shoes.... :)

which, really. my head... my head...

which is already reeling because... dude, how does an Asgard have ASS LABOR WITHOUT AN ASS????

And who delivers?

And this morning I couldn't stop laughing at the idea of Hermoid having to explain to Caldwell why he's gotten so ... round....

As you might guess from the title, this was the last one I did for the Porn Battle.

This time some SGA/SG1 slasy porn with a little kinkiness.

(I think I really like writing these two, they amuse the crap outta me.)

( Last Licks )

More porn battle. Simply SGA Slash Smut. It's fairly unoriginal but it amused me to do it anyway.

Again, slightly different from the original.

( Unoriginal Plot Points )

Another fic from the Porn Battle. Again, slightly different from the original post.

( Celebration )

Added to and improved over the first thing I posted to the Porn Battle.

( SG1/SGA Cam Mitchell / John Sheppard (prompt: fistfight) )

This is actually one of the prompts I offered up to the Porn Battle. It bit me somewhere and I had to make sure it sees the light of day.

Of course my babblings are too long for the limit of the Porn Battle, so just the porny stuff will be posted there.

( Rain )

his is the longer (original) version of a fic written for the Porn Battle.

hegemony has offered marriage if I write the other pairing mentioned within the fic. I hadn't thought of doing it before, but, hey. It's my first ficly marriage proposal. I'll have to see if I can get them to talk to me.

Title: Shots Out In The Black
Fandoms: Firefly / Torchwood
Pairing: Malcolm Reynolds / Jack Harkness
Prompt: Competition
I shouldn't have to mention it's X-rated, right? :)

( Shots Out In The Black )

OK, this may be worse than writing ass-labor.

Slice from X-Files/Stargate-Atlantis Crossover Crack!Fic from Hell.

I blame two people, pentapus, who had a "Write a drabble and I'll draw a doodle" fest. I wrote this little bit (briefly: Scully & Mulder go to Atlantis to talk to them about Space Vampires). pentapus drew this beautiful but cracky picture.

Then for the Porn Battle someone (*cough* havocthecat *cough*) requested "Mulder/Hermiod." She said she's going to hell for wanting it.

I'm IN hell for WRITING it!

Anyway. The beginning got cut off for the Porn Battle (4300 character limit), so here's the whole thing.

One day I'll fit it all together.

( Click Here - Cost: One Mind )

Read! Play! Zillions of prompts in kabillions of fandoms! max of 4200 characters (it must be posted as a comment)!

http://oxoniensis.livejournal.com/286546.html


posting only until the 15th so hurry if you plan on playing.

I've posted two so far, a SG1/SGA Cam Mitchell / John Sheppard (prompt: fistfight) and a Firefly/Torchwood Mal Reynolds/Jack Harkness (prompt: competition).

The latter I wound up having to cut dramatically (and repeatedly) to get it to fit. I will probably post the full version here at some point.

There are at least 5 other prompts I may hit, including 1 I suggested (it's rare enough that I doubt anyone else will grab it) and 1 that's just doomed for crackilicious goodness.

For rosewildeirish, consider this your (belated) Christmas present. I couldn't seem to pull off a full fic, I hope this is ok :-).

No spoilers, just shmoopy fluffernutters.

( Five Reasons Why Rodney Is So Madly In Love With Radek )

For vagablonde, who shares my love of this awful, demented, cracktastic '70s tv show, my first ever 5 things:

Five things Alan Carter never told his best friend Tony.

- That Tony's beer isn't really that bad. Oh, sure, the early attempts were nothing short of nasty, but it's been getting a lot better. It may not be Victoria Bitter, but it actually is drinkable. But he's always picking on Tony about the beer and he can't stop, 'cause it makes him giggle inside.

- That's he's a far better pilot than he thinks. He's not sure if Tony's noticed how he'll trust Tony with his birds any day, but he does.

- That as much as he misses Paul, Tony is a great best friend. He misses Paul everyday, but Paul could have a stick up his arse a mile wide. Not that Tony doesn't also get sticks up his behind, but it's never quite as bad.

- Speaking of which: That he thinks Tony has a nice behind. He thinks if he tells Tony this Tony would probably laugh and punch his arm. He hopes. And that's based on the way he sometimes catches Tony looking at him. That hope is far better than what would have happened if he'd said something similar to Paul, who would have punched him in the face and never spoken to him again.

- That Tony can do better than Maya. He knows Tony is smitten with her. She's an alien ("Token Alien" jokes come from the Star Trek fans), and she's... well, she is kinda pretty (but not his type of girl). But, for crying out loud, one of these days she's gonna shape-shift while they're having sex and Tony won't be able to get it up for the next couple hundred years.

Title: No Lighter Burden, Nor More Agreeable
Pairing: Lorne/Mitchell, Lorne/Sheppard
Rating: Adult. NC-17. Not for the kiddies.
Wordcount: ~6500
Warnings: Spoilers for (and refers to) SG-1 10x03 (Pegasus Project)
Summary: Requested: When SG-1 comes to Atlantis, it brings an old relationship back into Lorne's life.
Disclaimer: <#include std-disclaimer.h>
A/N
o Fanon assumptions stolen:
- Lorne is a luddite who prefers paper & pen over computers
- Sheppard is always dumping paperwork on Lorne.
o Handholding, ideas, and beta from the fantabulous triple7lies
- Bonus points for handholding & ideas from lilyayl & Josh

Written for slashfest IV. So there's slash in here. Adult slash.

( No Lighter Burden, Nor More Agreeable )

Title: Rollin' and Tumblin'
Summary: It certainly *sounded* simple enough.
Pairing: Sam/Daniel
Setting: S9 (only spoilery for general principles of the season)
Word count: 2325ish
Rating: Adult (NC17)
Warnings: Sex. Het sex. With sex words.
Request: FOR shutthef_up for sg_rarepairings
- Wanted: Dirty!Sam (as in grime. Daniel can be dirty too, it's up to the author)
Sudden, unexpected realization of attraction. Unusual setting (offworld, on a
ship... someplace other than Sam's or Daniel's homes)
- Not Wanted:: Aliens Made Us Do It, Character Death, Evil Twins
Notes: Thanks to my fabulous beta, triple7lies. The title of the fic is from
the title of a song by Muddy Waters. It seemed appropriate :-).

( Teal'c was off with the free Jaffa, which had left just Sam and Daniel to go deal with the Nomorians. )

Title: What's That, Lassie?
Summary: 577 Words Of Pure Crack
Pairing: Sheppard/Lorne -- Sorta.
Rating: G. No smut. Only the Pure Twoo Wuv.
A/N: Grew in my brain after seeing this icon (which belongs to and was made for the fantabulous miss_porcupine from her fantastical The Care and Feeding of a CO. I hope she can someday forgive me.

( Ronon looked pissed off. )

I wanted to do something for the sga_flashfic "Song & Dance" challenge. Something to do with Drama Queens seemed likely.

Sorry, lilyayl. The theory of a version with songs and lyrics just won't come to pass. There's a *reason* I don't do this stuff anymore...

However, I may take this piece, fold it into the original, and add some more stuff on. At some point.

Hell Week.

amireal has up a challenge she calls "I have to laugh at this premise or I will have to open a vein challenge, Open Vein Challenge for short" -- it's a bad!fic challenge full of scary prompts like diapers and pacifiers, and bestiality, and mpreg with lactation, and other horrific things.

One of the prompts made my brain explode -- into bad!fic.

I wrote John/Rodney (which I DO NOT DO) mpreg (WHICH I DO NOT DO) with ASS LABOR.

I WROTE ASS LABOR.

Please Just Kill Me Now.


One day one of my RL friends will find me out and I'll be taunted for writing ASS LABOR for the rest of my life.

Seriously. I'm half proud I could pop this out -- pun intended -- and half horrified and ashamed.

- Untitled Drabble for pentapus's Doodle Drabble Meme 2.
- Beta by triple7lies (thank you!), any remaining mistakes all mine.
- Created because pentapus wrote, in her list of non-prompt
prompts, "And how could I forget Scully?" How could you, indeed. :-)

-----------
( read me )

... and, I do want to flesh this out to a full fic. I have some thoughts on where to take it.

Title: Drama Queens
Pairings: Rodney/Radek, Teyla/Kate,
Beta, Help, Hand Holding, & Sharing of War Stories: triple7lies, thanks again. Any remaining mistakes are mine.
Summary: For the summercon Blame Someone Else challenge.

lilyayl requested: In order to foster good trading relations, the Lanteans find themselves thrust into writing a play (which must have signficance) and performing it. Rodney and Teyla bicker over music. John is happy to be tone-deaf. Rodney/Radek, Teyla/Kate, no McShep.


( Major Evan Lorne knew that Atlantis was full of drama queens, but this was ridiculous. )

And lilyayl, thanks for helping me remember why I don't do theater anymore!!!

---
ETA: Retconned Lorne's first name to fit with canon.

Title: Wear Your Own Hat, If It You Can Make It Fit!
Author: infinimato
Word Count: 865
Pairing: OT4ish
Rating: Adults in theory; in practice: insane people only
A/N: Thanks to svmadelyn, whose summercon is causing so much fun.
This is fic 2 out of 3 I've done for it. And thanks to wearmyhat, whose Bad Manip (shown below) caused my brain to remember a Very Old Bad Joke, and thus caused this cracky fic.

( This isn't just Not Safe For Work, it's Not Safe For Anyone! )

Written for the summercon hodgepodge challenge because the prompt caught my eye.

Flying High
Prompt: La Femme Nikita, Someone's having a fantastic day.
Pairing: Birkoff / Nikita
Spoilers: Episode tag (03x08: Cat & Mouse)
Word count: 187
A/N: I've never written LFN before. Eep!



Birkoff was walking on air. He couldn't believe what had happened, all his dreams come true. One moment he had gone to lie down for a break, the next he had Nikita in his arms.

Nikita, the most beautiful woman ever to come through Section. He had never thought he had a chance. Everyone knew the way she and Michael were drawn to each other.

In the end, it had turned out that it wasn't really Nikita. It was an imposter, sent to gain intel on Section. Operations and Madeline had not been completly forgiving of the actions that lead to the security breach, but they'd gone far easier on him than he'd been prepared for.

A small part of him felt he should have known -- that the real Nikita never would have come on to him that way, let him undress her and make love to her.

The rest of him was flying high. If he couldn't have the real Nikita, a fake one was still far, far better than anything his imagination could come up with. He'd hold these memories tightly to him forever, and they'd help him hold tightly, too.

This post assumes you have read the story Other Side. If you haven't read it, you will be surprised, because all that's here is the alternate ending to that story.

( Original Ending - and a bit of angst about it - Found Here )

Title: Other Side
Author: infinimato
Rating: PG13?
Pairing: Teyla/? (Het)
Summary: He had a hidden grace she should have noticed before.
Notes: AU. Set early S2. Death mention. Not a happy fic.
Beta & angsty hand-holding by triple7lies
Previously posted with a different ending; comment about that at the end.

( She was surprised when he came to her, asking for private lessons for her stick fighting. )

For penatapus's Doodle Drabble Meme.

Based on Doodle #3, which caused something weird to grow in my brain. Sorry, I changed your sign :-).
380 words. Simple sillyness.


"Come on, guys, get me out of this already!" Sheppard was appalled at how whiny his voice was sounding. He'd been tied to the tree for almost two hours now, and his team had spent the better part of the last twenty minutes giggling at his situation.

"And you got stuck there just how, again, Colonel Kirk?" Rodney said with an air of smugness that just might get him another smack upside the head... if Sheppard ever got loose.

"I told you twice now, McKay! Now get me out of this!" Rodney was grinning like a baboon, Ronon kept giggling like a schoolgirl (RONON! GIGGLING!) and Teyla couldn't hide her laughter either.

The gorgeous woman who'd enticed him away from the others was, of course, long gone. The feel of her kisses were still warm on his lips, but anger made the rest of his head boil. He couldn't believe he didn't see it coming. Again.

Rodney was starting to poke at the stuff holding him to the tree. "What IS this stuff, it's so sticky?!"

"She didn't tell me, Rodney, she just kinda ... stuck and run."

"Well, that's what you get for thinking with parts of you other than your brain."

This statement started Teyla and Ronon on a new round of giggles. Sheppard was SO going to kill them. All.

"HA, HA, Rodney. Get me OUT!"

"Yeah, yeah. You two," he said to The Mad Gigglers, "give me a hand here."

As they came to McKay's aid, Sheppard saw Teyla grab something from the side of the tree and try to subtly hide it behind her. "What is that?" Sheppard demanded, "Are those my pants? Did you find my pants??"

"Uh, no, Colonel. It's... Um. She left a sign here."

"What's it say?"

Teyla was struggling not to start giggling again, but her admission that the sign said, "Free To Good Home" got her going again, and the other two stopped ripping at his bonds to join her.

AUUUGH. He was going to KILL.

"Ok, Sheppard, you're free," said Ronon, nearly hiccupping from his giggles.

"Great. Now let's go home already."

"And next time we go on a mission, maybe you should wear something a little plainer than Spiderman boxers, huh?"

"Shut up, Rodney, they're my lucky boxers!"

"Not anymore, Spidey."

Cripes, maybe there's hope for me yet.

Super Friends.

(here so I can keep track of my own posted fic.)