slashfest, for whom (which?) I have written two fics to few comments, is now in it's phase of accepting new requests. Any one person can submit up to three requests that then someone else might take and write.

I'm tempted, OH so sorely sorely tempted to suggest things like:


Stargate: Atlantis - McKay/Sheppard - John is the Worst! Lover! Ever! After he chases Rodney for weeks and finally gets him into bed, the sex is just horrible. John blames it all on Rodney, and then to make matters worse, promptly dumps him for the first bimbo (or himbo) that comes along. Please include as many bad-sex disasters (ie. flying condoms, insufficient lubrication, drooling kisses, hits into delicate areas, etc.) as you can without going completely overboard.

or

Stargate: Atlantis - Ronon/Radek - Ronon has a very, very small dick and is completely *horrified* by how huge all the Lantean men are. Radek, king of the giant penises, tries to teach Ronon that size doesn't matter, until it does.


While babbling with triple7lies I thought I should also do some more unique/uncommon fandom, like,maybe, Space:1999. She suggested MST3K, to which I responded, "Joel/Crow"?


HELP!!!

.... because between my friend Josh and pentapus's drawings and shusu's crack smoking and havocthecat's prompt from the Porn Battle... this is a group effort whether people want it to be or not.

TO REVIEW:

First we had the little piece that I wrote about Mulder & Scully showing up on Atlantis, to talk about Vampires.

Then, 'cause it was for a thingy of hers, pentapus drew this bit of gorgeous taking the plot somewhere I hadn't thought of.

Then came the Porn Battle, for which I wound up smoking crack offered up by havocthecat, which called for Mulder & Hermiod getting it on.

I should be ashamed, but, to be honest, I just can't stop giggling.

Then that nutjob shusu posted something of McSheppy incest (really, just. jeez. owies.) and I jokingly asked if she were trying to "out-whacko-porn" me. I suggested that to "beat" this I'd have to write Hermiod having Mulder's ass babies.

To which she said:

ONLY if Hermiod files suit for CUSTODY. Because no way is Mulder a fit
father by any galactic standard. It will be a bitter battle, no-pants vs.
leaky waterbed, disdain for all humanity vs. eats cheetos in the nude.

AND THEN ABDUCTION.

I countered with:

And of course it's a baby girl, named Samantha after his sister, but then when Hermiod abducts the baby Mulder can't get anyone to believe that IT HAS HAPPENED AGAIN, they think he's still bugfuck from his sister's "abduction", and the SGC suddenly won't talk to him anymore, and Scully wonders if she should have him committed or go back to the Pegasus Galaxy and re-hookup with the Wraith queen (yeah i haven't written that part of the crack yet) and ...


To which shusu came back with, first, Wraith Queen dialogue:

"This one does not have kneepads. What is wrong with it? Is it defective?"
and then:

Meanwhile -- "He named it after you, Colonel. Don't you think that proves he's a creepy stalker?"

Which NO NO NO I am not also going for an SG1 xover too.

So then Josh comes up with:
If you make Scully wear a clown costume, you'll have ASS LABOR and CLOWN PORN in the same story. Just sayin'.

To which I realized:
And I could tie that in with Sheppard's fear of clowns

but then he countered:
Or maybe Novak can be in the big floopy shoes.... :)

which, really. my head... my head...

which is already reeling because... dude, how does an Asgard have ASS LABOR WITHOUT AN ASS????

And who delivers?

And this morning I couldn't stop laughing at the idea of Hermoid having to explain to Caldwell why he's gotten so ... round....